Writing was going to be my outlet. I needed to pour my heart onto symbolic paper; to get my mind clear, and let some anxieties go.
It was working for a while. Letting the things deep in my dark place to be released allowed me feelings of freedom and refreshment. Perhaps even providing a chance to supplement lost income.
But then life happened again.
Things broke; decisions on school had to be made; there were relationships that had become tense, and our daughter had somewhat unexpected surgery. Life rolled from one minor crisis to the next in a chaotic whirlwind.
Cue the emotional “stuffing” again. There wasn’t time, nor words to write. Sometimes, life is so jumbled that the energy or knowledge to eloquently (to the best of my ability) spell it out is just not obtainable.
I didn’t want to be my best in those moments; I knew I couldn’t. Doing the best I can is my best at those times. Accepting that is important.
Today, I acknowledge the elephant in the room. I can not name it, but I can gaze at it and begin to gather my thoughts. Allowing for some sort of organization and filing system to start again.
Therefore, I will squeeze in this self-soothing time as I can. I’m in agreement with the Greek Philosopher, Heraclitus, who said “The Only Constant in Life Is Change”. I will go with what I know and press forward – at least for right now. Once again, I will find my rhythm until the inevitable (change, of course), happens again. Change is what makes the flow of life – good and bad.